Lessons learned from burning the ships on the beach
+ a live class on Discovering Your Life's Purpose
+ June 26: I’m teaching a live class in Bend, Oregon on The Undivided Life and discovering one’s life purpose. If you’re in the area and want to attend, I invite you to join me at The Hanai Foundation. Because I don’t want finances to keep anyone from attending, tickets are pay what you want. You can register here. Can’t attend IRL, but are interested in the class? I’ll be hosting a virtual class later this month. Details to come soon.
Now on to our regularly scheduled program…
One mid-pandemic night in 2020, our family’s life took a hard left turn.
The Decision, as I’ve come to call it, split our life into the years that came before it and everything that has followed since. Our life, you might say, is divided into B.D. (Before Decision) and A.D. (After Decision).
The Decision started with a question: “What would it be like to sell everything and leave behind the life we built in Tennessee?”
Since school was online and both my wife and I worked remotely, we could live anywhere. What would it be like to be completely free of all our stuff?
It was a fast Decision. An inevitable Decision. We put the house up for sale and, in a matter of just a few months, found ourselves renting a small place among the apple orchards of Lake Chelan, Washington. We had indeed fit our whole life into our Subaru Outback and Thule roof rack.
I use “inevitable” to describe it because, with the benefit of hindsight, it feels that way to me. On the surface, it was impulsive and irrational. More than a few friends (rightfully) reminded us of that, while at the same time wishing they could go with us.
We sensed it was the right choice for us, however unwise it seemed. Even now all I can say is that, just below the waterline of our life, an unseen current was flowing and we were caught in it.
What is it like to burn the ships of your life on the beach of the past so you can step into the wilderness of The New and Unknown? Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the lessons that continue to unfold on this now-four year experiment.
I share them here in the hopes they might mean something to someone else who’s challenging the Status Quo of their own life.
Any new life you wish to create will always come at the cost of your old one.
The things that matter most can only be found on the other side of the Unknown.
If you want to find out if water-walking is possible, the only way to know is to get out of the boat and see what happens.
Burning the ships on the beach and dancing around the fire is a fun moment. Others will cheer your bravery and lunacy. Enjoy it fully, but realize that the fire eventually burns to ash, the others will get bored with you, and you have to venture into the uncharted wilderness. That’s why you’re really here.
You are the uncharted wilderness. It is not “out there” somewhere. It is you. The only true journey in life is that of discovering who you really are.
Talking about making The Decision, whatever it might be, is common. Everyone loves talking about being decisive, but talk is cheap. Doing is ultimately all that matters. See #3.
We trust too much in our intellect, and not enough in what I’ve come to call The Voice—that intuitive, deeper wisdom within us all, which subtly nudges us toward True North in the same way birds follow the Earth’s magnetic field. Though unseen, it is reliable. Learn to hear The Voice more clearly.
Synchronicities don’t occur in life. Life itself is synchronicity. Follow the thread of what caused any particular moment and you will eventually follow the thread all the way back to the Beginning of All Things. This moment is the way it is because the entire Universe is the way it is.
A frictionless life goes nowhere. A car moves only because of resistance between the tires and the ground. Forward progress requires Resistance.
The mind seeks predicability and comfort. Its job is to re-create the past because that is all it knows or could ever know. The soul deals in matters unimaginable to the mind. The caterpillar can’t conceive of the butterfly or flying. In the same way, we cannot conceive of what we are until we are it. Trust your soul.
You take you with you wherever you go. You can never run away from the inner work that demands attention.
Life is a paradox that is equally the joy of being (non-doing) and the adventure of becoming (doing).
You don’t really know what you’d miss until you miss it. Especially authentic Nashville hot chicken sandwiches. (iykyk)
You cannot make old friends.
We don’t know what is in our best interests. Only in hindsight can we glimpse how events and relationships wove together in ways we could have never orchestrated.
There are only two ways to make decisions: in love or in fear. Decisions made in love will create more love. Decisions made in fear will create more fear.
The best way to become aware of your subconscious patterns and wounds is to notice when you’re triggered. Life is your great teacher if you will allow it to be. Nothing will reveal your subconscious and hidden patterns like getting out of your comfortable life.
We’re under the impression that we can control the outcomes of our lives. We can’t, but we can control the inputs—our intentions, actions, and commitment.
You cannot numb yourself to the painful experiences of life without also numbing yourself to all the rest.
Joy comes from knowing what “enough” is for yourself.
A familiar sight as I also load up the back of my gold Subaru Outback.😊
I am about to embark on tiny home living which is not necessarily what I would have chosen to do at this point in my life ( maybe a few years off when the kids are well and truely on their way). I am constantly having to remind myself of many of those life lessons to stoke up the courage each day. Following the heart, trying to dwell in love not fear. It's a journey that's for sure! Thanks for this piece Kevin and may you continue to have an inspiring journey yourself. 😊
Love your wisdom brother ❤️